Is this real?

August 5, 2019

 


Intention for the week:

I can just notice the difference between what I believe is happening (my perspective) and what is happening in reality (overall perspective).

 

Sometimes it's really hard to tell the difference, but since you are working really hard on becoming your best self you are starting to be able to tell them apart.  In the office, we challenge beliefs, thoughts, and ideas and then you move into your week testing your 'new' perceptions of reality.  This can have lasting and profound change.

 

Other times, we take things personally and believe that another person's actions or words have to do with us directly.  However, in reality, that person's emotions are all too often making so much 'noise' inside them that they  barely realize the impact they are  having on others. 

 

This is where  we check in with our window of tolerance (Am I triggered or shut down? Am I reacting with one of my Parts?Does this feel negative?) and what we think is happening, pause and look for cues as to what may really be happening (check in with a friend, with your 'Best Self') and then choose to do something or nothing. 

 

Read more about reality testing by clicking here.... 

 

What happens if I don't reality test? Some errors in thinking may occur...

 

Sometimes our way of thinking can influence our level of ANXIETY and hold us back from making positive behavior changes.

 

Common errors or cognitive distortions are:

 1. All or nothing thinking: Black & White thinking...that someone or something is all good or all bad.

2. Overgeneralization: Looking at a negative event and generalizing it to your life.

3. Mental filter: Dwelling on the negative thoughts and emotions and ignore the positives.

4. Discounting positives: Insisting that accomplishments or positive characteristics don’t count.

5. Mind reading: Assuming and reading that people are reacting negatively to you or assuming why people are reacting that way.

6. Fortune telling: Predicting that things will turn out badly, " this always happens" self-sabotaging.

7. Magnification or minimization: Either Blowing things way out of proportion or shrinking their importance.

8. Emotional reasoning: Generalizing from how you feel: “I feel stupid, so I must be stupid”.

9. Should statements: Beating yourself up with “should”, and “shouldn’t”, “must”, “ought” and “have to”.

10. Labeling or negative self talk: Instead of saying: “I made a mistake”, you tell yourself: “I am an idiot” or “a loser.”

11. Blame: Blaming yourself or you blame other people and overlook the ways that you contributed to the situation.

12. Comparison: Comparing yourself to others and minimize your achievements

(These are not my own creation, I cannot remember the source, but I did modify them to fit my clients)

 

 Remember that you are in control of your body, feelings and thoughts..

 

Remember that you are in control of your body, feelings and thoughts.

1. Thought stopping technique-that good ol stop sign works wonders

2. Flash Technique. 

3. Guided visualization, feelings as color, BREATHING, and Tapping (EMDR Butterfly Technique). 

4. Breath: 4 count inhale, 6 count exhale. (calming down the nervous system manually)

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